Your face is a jimmy john
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
