What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize