I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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