No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
