If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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