Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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