I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
