If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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