Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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