i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
