guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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