trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
