Do you still have your period?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
