grandma shit on top of the toilet
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize