you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
