i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
