You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
