i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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