Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
