is your mom at the bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I didn't notice because vodka
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
