in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize