so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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