I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
