How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize