Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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