can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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