My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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