my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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