He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
