Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
