I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
