stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Randomize