whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
