then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
