Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
