The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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