my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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