You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
