I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize