I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
