No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
