plz talk dirty to me
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
