I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
