it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
