either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I don't think brook has ever known best
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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