i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
