Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize