Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
