Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Barsexuality is the new black.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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