I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
