Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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