i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
