Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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