ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
But theres a keg here and me gusta
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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