can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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