She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
