and you said cock pushups were impossible
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
