Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize